Friday, November 26, 2010

"The Crying Game"

I was always raised to believe if you cried you were a sissy..even girls. Could be because my dad wanted boys and got 2 girls instead or it could be because there was not one show of emotion in our house as we grew up. I never understood why we didn't hug or kiss until much later in life when I realized you can't pass on what you never learned unless you make a huge persistent effort to change a long time pattern. I decided I was going to do that, and I did it pretty successfully, although it was hard and took a great deal of time. In my house we kiss and hug and CRY if need be. I still had a hold over about crying though, I felt as if I should learn to control my tears...I also felt very weak minded when I did cry!! Tears are meant to give a release to one, and to cleanse ones mind and soul...I have alot of dirt to get rid of and when instances come up that produce tears, I now know, it is just my cleansing time and to "just do it" as the saying goes. Some of my tears may come from looking at a majestic mountain, some from a little child with a birth defect, or some may come when someone says "NO Tears". Anything can make me cry, and I have come to realize, that is just ME and there is nothing wrong with us being just who we are...I am not weak..I am sensitive...I am not a sissy....I have a big heart. It all depends on how you look at things. The first time someone said to me in a stern way.."It is okay to cry" I pondered that for months..struggling to cry without guilt.I must admit I still fight it...when the stinging comes...I try hard to push back the feelings, but it is getting better and I try to analyze why I am crying. I realize sometimes there is NO reason..and it is OKAY!!!
Are you feeling guilty over something from your past?? Sit down and really understand what and why you feel that way, then embrace it, and then let it go. I know easier said then done!!I thought I had done it several times over...put it away!!! Just keep working on it!!! and when and if you feel like crying..let the tears come. let them flow, and give into that wonderful cleansing. Let it out and let it go!!! It produces freedom in your whole body... I play "The Crying Game" often...